EMU Students Tying the Knot

Given its small size and community orientation, EMU is a natural birthplace of many serious romantic relationships, some of which lead to marriage.

"There are a lot of students who get married to each other after they graduate. Christmas or Valentine's Day of their senior year is a popular time to get engaged, then they get married the summer after they graduate," commented Ken Nafziger, vice-president of Student Life. However, not all couples wait until after graduation to tie the knot.

For students in serious relationships, one of the greatest questions with which they are faced is whether to get married in college or to wait until graduation. Given the array of people and situations, couples reach a variety of conclusions on this issue.

Nick and Sylvia Meyer were married this past December. They met in high school and had been dating for three years before they became engaged. They decided to get married in college because "it's the next step at a certain point in the relationship," said Nick. "Once you're committed it just makes sense."

"We weren't too worried about finances or other things like that," said Sylvia. "Living together is more convenient because you don't have to be as worried about finding time to be with the other person."

Dustin Steiner and Moriah Haver are first-year students who are engaged to be married this summer. They have known each other for about six years and have been dating since the end of high school. When asked why they were getting married so early, Dustin replied, "Growing up, my parents and relatives always told me that when you find the girl that you know you are going to marry, do not wait." They both agreed that the main reason for getting married now was so "we can be there for each other and share our lives together, and in doing so, stick to our Christian principles." Being married in college does present a unique set of challenges to couples. Some friends or family may be unsure of a couple getting married so early in life. "My mom was a little worried at first," commented Sylvia, "but she was very supportive in the end. Usually the people that think you're too young are the people who got married late and don't know what it's like."

"I think the biggest problem will be finances," stated Dustin, "although I think it's important to keep things in perspective and not worry about it too much." He also agreed with Nick and Sylvia that "everyone that knows us fully supports our decision to get married, although some acquaintances have questioned the decision." Moriah forsees her biggest challenge from married life as finding a balance. "I'll have the obligations of being wife, student, and friend among other things," she said, "I've already had to balance things and marriage will kick it up a notch, but I am looking forward to it."

Many couples also decide to wait until after graduation to marry. This decision can result from a variety of circumstances. For Isaac Shelly, sophomore, the choice was somewhat logistical. "My girlfriend and I both go to different schools, and really like our schools, so transferring wasn't a good option. Even though we love each other, we decided it's important to have space so we can focus on our studies." Ben Moyer, a business student, took a different approach. "I want to wait until after college because I don't have the financial means for marriage or a wedding," he said, "I also think it would interfere with my relationship with guy friends."

Nick and Sylvia make conscious decisions to try to stay involved with their friends and avoid losing touch. "We try to have people over to our apartment a lot," mentioned Nick, "doing social things on campus is also important so we can show that we‘re interested in maintaining our friendships." For students who are engaged and unsure of which approach to take, EMU offers the "To Knot or Not to Knot" seminar. It is an annual series which usually takes place in the Spring and is targeted at engaged couples. It is taught by Harvey Yoder, a former EMU counselor, who now works at the Family Life Resource Center.