Ask Kate

Dear Kate,

My best friend from high school who lives in a neighboring town said she would like to date me. While we were really good friends, I feel like I'm a very different person from who I was in high school. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Caught in the past

CITP,

Dating your best friend is both the best and worst idea a person can have in regards to relationships. On the one hand, you're already so close emotionally that the rest will probably come naturally. Yet on the other hand, if the romantic relationship fizzles, so will the best friend.

Dating can lead to muddy waters. The truth is you will never know if you and another person can work unless you give it a try. That said, it isn't necessarily wise to jump into relationships without thinking it through a bit. The big question you have to ask yourself is: do you want the same things in life? Couples break up more over this question than any other because it applies to so many areas in the relationship. Do you both want a serious relationship, or just a fling? Do you think the long distance thing can work or can you only function living close by?

So proceed cautiously. You label her as best friend, thus you assume you know her likes and dislikes. But don't presuppose you know everything. Assumptions are the termites of relationships. Since you've never been with her romantically before, there could be more than a few adjustments to make. Don't let that scare you, however, because honestly, we're all so darn lonely you'd be a fool not to consider it. But don't end up a fool taking it only because it was a consideration. Be wise, but remember that love defies logic in the end.

Best,

KB