Ask Ellie

Question:

Do you think it's ok to come into college already in a relationship? If so, is it better to go to the same college or different colleges?

-Distance Makes the Heart Confused

Answer:

Hey Confused, I think this is a question that a lot of incoming students with boyfriends and girlfriends wonder about.

If you are already dating someone before you come to college and you've been together for a while, then it's going to be hard to break up just because you are headed out to college. I think it's worth a try to keep the relationship going if you are headed out to different colleges, but there are things to keep in mind while doing so. Because you are entering college with a boyfriend or girlfriend out there somewhere, make sure you don't shut yourself off to other people by absorbing yourself in trying to keep up contact with your significant other. Make sure you make friends and get yourself out there to experience college life. It can be difficult to maintain a long-distance relationship and live a crazy college life at the same time, but it's totally possible. Also, both halves of the relationship have to be willing to contribute equally to making it work. If you do this, then things should be ok for you. It's fine to come into college already being in a relationship just as long as you don't put all of your time and energy into just that relationship.

As far as going to the same college as your boyfriend or girlfriend, that's a bit of a different issue. You should each go where you want to go and where you feel you will get the best education. Don't base your decision of where to go to college on where your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to go. You could always break up in the future and be stuck at a school that you don't want to be at. In this case you need to think about your education first and the relationship second. Also, remember you are still so young. Don't let yourself get caught up in such a serious relationship at such a young age. Get out and experience life on your own at a school of your choosing. If the relationship is meant to be, then things will work out.

Got a Question? Ask Ellie! Ellie Spaulding is here to answer all your questions on campus life - and then some. Just e-mail them to: elisa.spaulding@emu.edu.