Happy "salt-in-the-wounds" day

While unusual, the truth is: my revelation came to me in the cafeteria. I initially thought it odd, but I realized it was not the place but the setting in context to the day. That is right; I am a single man whining about Valentine's Day. No, it is not new. No, it is not novel. No, I do not care. Why? Well, simply because for one day every year, no couple cares how those of us who suffer through the loneliness every day feel. All tact is thrown to the wind in bouquets of perfectly cut roses.

I looked around the cafeteria and what did I see? A couple dozen single-folk miserable as me. Yeah it is petty, but it is true. Every year (20 consecutive years for me now) the same thing happens. My recollection of the day's misery dates back to my formative elementary school years. While everyone passed out the obligatory valentine cards, I wrote one or two special notes for certain girls. Predictably, I never got a special note back. Why? Because Cupid hates me, that is why. Every February 14 I dream nightmares of "Happy Vallintynes Day" messages from kids who couldn't spell. Half the time the card was not even signed and the other half of the time it was not addressed.

The point is, Valentine's Day is a day to make fun of those who are less fortunate in the ways of love. In fact I call it Happy "Salt-in-the-Wounds" Day. Take the cafeteria for example. Like I said, I am in there with a couple dozen other miserable single-folk and I look at the table. Covered in white table cloth with a red cloth crossing it. Those evil colors of love and contentment. Resentful. Are they done? No! They garnish the love cloth with candy hearts. Candy hearts! With those cute little love notes and everything. Inconceivable!

Do not get me wrong, I am happy yet. You see, I continued to think. In my anger I saw light through the teary-eyed vision. There is no need to cry, because I remembered what I learned when I was younger. In fact it may have even been around this evil time in February we call Valentine's Day. I remember Mrs. Krebs, my eighth grade health teacher, telling us there was a price to pay for VD. She warned that VD is expensive.

I have watched you happy couples, and you all go to the fanciest restaurants and pay top dollar for flowers. Not me. No sir, I do not waste any money on VD. "Salt-in-the-Wounds" Day is not for lovers. Valentine's Day is for people who are dumb enough to risk spending money on a person for VD. Mrs. Krebs is right. So I will eat my cafeteria chicken parmigiana (a good cut, I might add) and enjoy the fact that I have no part in VD.