What happened to commitment in marriage?

I think most of us would agree that commitment is important in a marriage. In our wedding ceremonies we make solemn promises to God, family and friends that we’re going to stay together forever. Unfortunately, when the going gets especially tough, couples often decide to break those promises, and people suffer great pain as a result. Believe me, I know. What has happened to commitment?

Relationships that are built around love and commitment tend to be positive and productive relationships. They are beneficial to the individuals involved, and to the greater community. Try to envision what our world would be like if only ten percent of marriages failed, rather than fifty or so. It’s hard to imagine, isn’t it? I believe this love and commitment plan might do the world some good.

There’s been a lot of fuss lately about whether gays and lesbians should be allowed to legally commit to life-long same-gender relationships. People on both sides of the debate have strong opinions. Some of those in opposition are concerned that allowing gays and lesbians to "marry" will pose a threat to the sanctity of traditional marriage. There’s even talk of a constitutional amendment to ban same-gender marriages. As it turns out, I have gay friends who are in committed relationships, and I don’t personally feel like my marriage is being threatened by them at all. On the contrary, my wife and I can learn some things from them about love and commitment.

Of course I’m not surprised that some people object to the idea of gay marriage. The thing that does surprise me, though, is how passionately they object. Maybe it’s because they don’t understand, and we humans tend to fear things we don’t understand. As for myself, I don’t understand why a man would want to have sex with another man. It’s disgusting. The Bible calls it an "abomination", which is defined by the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary as "a thing that causes disgust or hatred". Sounds about right to me. I also don’t understand why people eat boiled okra, because it’s disgusting. To me it’s an abomination, so I don’t eat it. I don’t mind when my wife eats it, though. We disagree about boiled okra, but I still love her.

I don’t know what will happen to our world if gay marriages become legal. Maybe gay and lesbian couples will develop the same disregard for the importance of commitment as many heterosexual couples have. On the other hand, maybe they’ll teach us how to do it a little better. I really don’t know. I am a strong supporter of love and commitment in relationships, and I find it hard to imagine that relationships that embody these characteristics would be harmful to anyone. I do fear that the institution of marriage is being threatened, though, by couples that don’t honor their commitments. Maybe we should pass a law that says those people can’t get married.