More vitamin C, fewer ash trays for EMU smokers

Living as close as you can to the EMU campus while still living off-campus, I have had plenty of occasion to view all of the students wishing to flee the university’s ban on tobacco use, since they come into my yard, or sit on the curb in front of my house to smoke. As I have become increasingly aware of just how sizeable the "smoking saints" contingent is here at EMU, even though my yard is often littered with cigarette butts and empty boxes, I thought that a good way to "turn the other cheek," would be to pen a health article on how to alleviate some of the health risk associated with smoking.

Obviously every smoker on the planet knows that they should simply cease the habit in order to insure that their health is not adversely or ultimately affected. However, this does not always translate into an actual smoking cessation program. Therefore, it behooves the individual insistent on engaging in the onslaught to their body afforded by their addiction to combat it in whatever measures remain available, regardless of the fact that any and all measures still prove to be far less beneficial than cutting smoking out entirely.

One of the most practical weapons in a smoker’s arsenal against the damage done by the consistent inhalation of carbon particles is increasing the daily intake of vitamin C. The Recommended Daily Allowance (RDA) of vitamin C in the U.S. is 60 mg. There are several schools of thought on the ideal amount of vitamin C intake, but the general consensus is that 60 mg is too low, based partly on the fact that we humans are virtually the only mammals who do not manufacture our own vitamin C (which is why there is not any vitamin C supplementation necessary in pet food), and the other mammals generally manufacture their own C in quantities proportional to body weight far greater than the established RDA. At any rate, 60 mg daily (which many of us still fail to get), is woefully inadequate for smokers. The reason for this is simple.

Because of the vitamin’s antioxidant properties, the body uses 200 mg of C for every cigarette smoked to combat the toxins introduced into the bloodstream. This is quite effective as long as the body has abundant vitamin C to spare. However, when it does not, it either must use other resources to combat the pollutants (which are generally already performing other functions), or the toxins are allowed to accumulate and operate in their toxic manner, largely unhindered by the body’s immune defenses. Taking a chewable vitamin C tablet with every cigarette is a good idea for smokers, since it may also help to reduce the fecal halitosis that results from smoking poorly processed tobacco (which, by the way, is the only crop allowed to be grown on nuclear testing fields, and therefore can contain some interesting uranium isotopes).

Although less scientific, many smokers also choose to supplement their diets with additional vitamin A, bearing in mind the age-old adage, "cancer cures smoking," since vitamin A-deficient cells and cancer cells are virtually indistinguishable under a microscope.

Another step to avert cancer fears, although less palatable, is when eating apples or pears, to consume the seeds as well. The reason for this is that such seeds contain the vitamin B17, and is quite possible one of the reasons why farm animals such as horses, who frequently consume such seeds since they eat their apples whole, rarely get cancer. Up until about 200 years ago, most of the world’s flour (and by default bread), was derived from the grain millet, also a source of vitamin B17. It has since switched to a wheat derivative, and cancer rates have risen accordingly. Although B17 therapy is not widely available in the U.S., it is popular in Mexico under the label "laetrile," and many Amish who get cancer travel across the border in search of laetrile injections. Do not overdo it though, since B17 is quite similar in chemical composition to organic cyanide.

Additional B vitamin supplementation may also be warranted, since American tobacco is about twenty percent sugar by weight due to the manner in which it is dried. In fact, the traditional method of drying by the First Nations’ peoples on this continent resulted in a tobacco that was only about five percent sugar, and some think that this might have been a factor in their relatively low rates of addiction and cancer resulting from their smoking. Sugar depletes the body of B vitamins, which can result in smokers becoming irritable and unfocused. Replenishing the body with B vitamins can be a healthier way for students to regain their powers of concentration than coffee. B vitamins are abundant in most low sugar, grain based cereals, and can give EMU’s smokers an extra incentive (other than the gargantuan fees most of them have already paid for the privilege anyway), to indulge in the benefits of breakfast.

Less abundant (and therefore, for university students, less practical) sources that smokers wishing to cater to their unusual nutritional needs might explore include bilberry, garlic, green tea, and finally, sleep. Although normal humans can get by easily with eight hours of sleep, studies have shown that a smoker’s body requires at least ten hours of sleep daily to heal itself from the scathing results of cigarette consumption.

Hopefully, this will enable the smokers at EMU to engage in the least amount of damage to their bodies. So if you must smoke, ask yourself if you would still smoke if the tar ended up on your face instead of inside your lungs, pop a vitamin C tablet past those fuzzy yellow teeth of yours, and please remember that my lawn is not an ashtray.